(first half of 2024)
and this morning is a sunday, a tour to pondicherry will happen. I was at a bakery, as i was leaving i turned back. what called is plastic jar hiting the tar road. A old, looked like he fainted in middle of the road. Vehicles passed by, i passed by to park on the other side, contemplating to help:
“what if i did, do people around find it as display of, me more compassionate then them”. As i did park, two men were there, one picked put the shoulders and the other lifted one leg. That ticked something. Recently we found few dead wild boars around the farm, either over population or they are poisioned in around the land, and they die in the farm. anyway that how i lifted them too as we dispose some place else.
They placed him on side of the road, deside the drainage. He seems to be resting. I wait a moment to leave, and no matter what i say, there is part of me, that took that decision. It will stay inside somewhere resting and it will stay there for rest of my life.
If it was a well dressed young man, there would be more people, and i wouldn’t care. but he was bum, there was only a white dhoti till his knee. Its not a accident to them, more a rotine. There is certain hopelessness attached to him. It would be lot easier on me, if he was a drunk, but i am afraid he is not.
“we could be him, if life decided to be unkind to us” i thought as i left. a distance later ideas sprung up, maybe he was straving, i could have given him water. More further i got a better idea, had a packet of bread in my bag, i could have passed 4 slices to him. For your information, i did non of it. i had few options to defend my self, “a help today might help, tomorrow he will strav again”, “maybe he was a drunk, and drinking is certainly his fault” or “If i libarate everyone i see on the way, it will make me broke”. They are as irrational as easy they were to pick. simple put, i could not muster enough compassion or courage.
And we get back to our hunt for conclustion, “am i that unkind?”.
Drunk or starving, he propably bought himself to that position. if this is the extream end, can i blame people for fending themself, as we call it selfishness. After this situation can i shame anyone for being incompassionate, as i was to this man.
He propably woke up a while later and continued, “he couldn’t help himself”, that sentence pretains to me in current situation. if i won’t progress a certain degree in the uncoming projects, one day someone might find me in position of that bum in terms of acting. People would hesitent to help, and adding “he couldn’t help himself”, our help now, won’t help him much.
on my way home, two dogs were laying in shade. when i hear of ininsatives to wards street dogs, and weather should i take part in them, i argument always was. “they are animals, they can servive on there own”, and today i saw same happen to a human, i didn’t care for him either. Maybe i was raised to not mind others. yet i wouldn’t wish to be anyone else.
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