to answer that question, i need to explain to you how i perceive change. it helps to set up context.
There is four word you need to learn, good learning, bad learing, under counter peddle and above counter peddle.
in life when we call someone mature and experinced, it basically means that, that person know went through some stuff and know how to handle stuff. some call it growth.
Befour counter compromise and after counter compromise, are terms based on simple story with my father.
everytime we go to buy cloths, the process is simple. Pick cloths, go to counter and get billed. right after salesman reveal the total price. all of out face used go blank. Our instints was to remove pricy cloths and get the bill down. Father used to disapprove that, saying “its obvious that bill will go if you remove items, whats supricing in that. thats not you achivement thats math”. He can stay at the counter till the end of the day, bargaining to get the bill with negotiation and never removing the items.
Just becouse you got into jail for pulcking flower at a park. avoiding jail by avoiding park is not achivement its logic(under counter compromise), avoiding jail by being more discreate at pulcking flower is (above counter peddle). (cosidering, your life will affect a great deal without a flower, everybody has flowers they cant live without)
Moreover you perception on reality, doesn’t change probability of events.
For example, if your purse got stolen on a visit to chandini chowk. on you next visit, probability of getting stolen again doen’t change based on your previous exprience. Probability of events remain same, with or with out your presence of fear.
You may argue, being more cousious on second visit will reduce the changes. propably, but is not getting robed you priority when you go to chandini chowk. No, shoping is your priority when you go to changini chowk. Your negotiations with fear will fairly reduce you exprience, and not attenteding to your fear is inhuman.
Effective growth for me is based on your ability to fuck around and find out every sigle time, not being influenced by previous exprience, while ghosting fear simantaniously.