Today is Monday. last Saturday night, I watched a film called “corsage”. Film goes through life of an empress of Austria. In 1873, her name was something i don’t remember.
Do i feel sorry for her? Absolutely not. Does she deserve what happened to her? Absolutely yes. It’s mostly because she can’t afford any better. I will explain myself.
She has almost no eyebrows, but i find her attractive. That tells more about me than her.
One thing in the film i didn’t notice and read on a film short description poster outside of the theatre is that. “She was astonishingly beautiful when she was young”: i am unable to trust that sentence, mostly because i couldn’t find and clues to prove in the film. It makes sense, when her husband said he “chose” her. I believe i am wrong, probably she was pretty.
Considering his young lover, he doesn’t have much taste in women to begin with.
She had something going with that videographer, she couldn’t have stuck with him. But she didn’t as her son objected it, and she couldn’t afford to hurt him. I will never understand how she is brave enough to kill herself but, enough to hurt some people.
Son was conserned that his father would be disappointed knowing her affair. I don’t think so, i don’t think he cares. She can sleep with whoever she wants. She could have waited another year, i am pretty sure they would be someone in the entire Kingdom. Who finds her, more than just fuckable. Who desires her, who can touch ever sweet drop of her, with his breath for rest of her life. But no, she had to get on that ship.
I don’t think neither, her suffering so profound or her problems so philosophical. She is stupid then that.
If she had any bit sympathy for herself, she would have let her assistant go. To get married, but no she had to be caged just like her. “You are the only one who truly love me like i am” she said. I don’t think anybody should talk, definitely not the main character about who loves them, i don’t think anyone can. Certainly not someone who is difficult to love, like her.
She acted fainted in the beginning of the film, she was not conserned about rumers. She want her husband to notice her i believe.
For someone who don’t like to age, she smokes a lot of cigarettes.
From what I know about royalty and monarchs, they are not particularly loyal to there marriages. They shame a women for doing it, i don’t think her husband is possessive like that. He just want her to be ceremonial, and do whatever she wants personally.
I don’t think she wants sex particularly, she just want to live the moment where someone desire her, her body. Un distracted, non judgemental and convey it unwavering. She needs to be dicked down just frequent enough to forget all of her problem. Which she can afford but didn’t commit.
She don’t like her sister for some reason. She didn’t get attention from her father either, it looks like.
This movie triggered me like no other, in a long time.
Some may feel so many people did wrong to her, I would like to disagree. Should could have handled things better.
She mentioned she had nothing to lose, i would like to disagree to that again. She had a lot and she don’t want to lose anything. She could have run an affair, asked for divorce or abandon monarchy. its not easy, but practical then killing yourself.
She is more coward then a avarage. She could have accepted her age, which She was so unable to do. She could have gained attention in differnt ways. Her cheep rebellion caused more damage then good, she lost her daugher for that. There are better way to lock horns with this world, she chose not so effective ways. She could have wandered lands on horse back, if nothing better to do.
She is incompetent to make herself happy, a failure based on her own terms. killing herself is pitty. I want evan a hopeless soul to be alive, just being alive would give a meaning to all she went trough.
On the same saturday morning. I got a call from my mother, mentioning that my brother detained from his b.tech collage. He never liked b.tech for some reason, had lot of backlogs. They didn’t allow him to move to 4th year. he Applied for TC later that day. The plan b, was suggested by my father’s uncle “sheker”. To join a collage in chennai, he has some connection with. That collage would enroll him and clear all his backlogs apparently. Its not confirm and processed yet, it will take 15-20 day to know anything for sure. Moving to chennai will give him new perspective, i am hopeful about it. Chennai plan stopped ever one from free falling. Even if chennai plan doen’t work out, he can join someother course.
Parents are go through the obvious anxiety, what will be the future, what will relatives thinks, what should we answer to there expecting questions, what will my brother become, money, decent life…etc..etc.
All thats going through my head is hope that my brother don’t kill himself. He just being alive would make my life so much better. If he dies i don’t know what to do after that.